Dear
Mom and Dad,
I
am an adult. I am nineteen now, there is no putting bows in my hair, tying my
shoes or packing PB and J sandwiches in my lunch box for school. There’s no
need to drop me off at school anymore and to drive me around to my friends’
house, I am able to take care of myself now and I have for a very long time now.
I have two jobs, go to college and can drive myself around with no problems. I am no longer a minor, I'm a young adult that
is fully capable of making my own decisions. Therefore, a young adult like
myself should not have a curfew.
Michigan law requires kids under the age of sixteen to be
off the streets between midnight and six in the morning (Teen Curfews). There
is no law in our state of Michigan that says any limitations of a curfew for a
nineteen year old, believe me, I have checked. You should be happy to know it
is found that arrests of young adults above the set curfew age has also
declined slightly. (Courtney Culey, teen curfews). Which you know that you
don’t have to worry about me being arrested.
I understand Mom, you want me to be home safe every night
because you will not fully fall asleep till I am home, in my bed and under your
roof. I know that there are people out there that are capable of doing harmful
things to me. You have to understand that I act quickly to those situations and
I know how to defend myself if one were to come up. You should know that I’m
not out loitering on the streets of downtown Grand Haven nor any other town.
No, I’m just simply at Morgan’s house or at another friend’s house watching
Netflix and eating fatty foods. We don’t go out on the street in the middle of
the night to walk around and look at the lights or people, like you say, that’s
just asking for trouble. I just want to use my extra time to spend with the
friends that I care about. All that we would be doing is playing board or card
games with siblings or watching movies that we have rented that night while
eating popcorn. I think that is pretty harmless. I will make sure to keep you
in the loop.
You have stated many time that this house is
not a “Bed and Breakfast”, which I agree with you. You provided a free place
for us as a way to help us save our money for our education. Dr. Kevin Leman
stated, “This home may be rent free but not duty free. Both parents need to be
on the same page.” (Kevin Leman. living with your adult child). I agree with
him, both of you need to be on the same page. From my perspective, Dad, you are
just following what Mom says. She is the one that is holding this curfew over
my head and I know that you enforce it too but if were up to you, I don’t think
that I would have this curfew. Sure, there would be some restrictions and of
course I would have to keep you in the loop but I don’t think that you would
impose a curfew on me. I agree that you should not have to be woken up in the
wee hours of the morning to the dog barking, garage door closing and the
obnoxiously loud creaking of my door. Those all can be easily fixed though!
But, if I’m not waking anyone up then I don’t see the problem in not having a
curfew.
I want to show you two that I am responsible enough to
not have a curfew, but you are not giving me a chance to. If I go to bed too
late, get up early, and have a hard time staying awake throughout the day, it's
my fault. Let me learn from my mistakes.
This is what life is about, making mistakes and learning from them. You
are just not giving me the chance. Let me learn when too little sleep feels
like, like the late nights and early mornings. (Teresa, You and Your Parents,
wikihow.com) If I still get less hours of sleep at night and get up easily and
get ready for the day with less hours, then it's okay if I stay up till 3am. We
can even do a ‘trial and error’ here. What I mean is give this a shot, no
curfew for a couple weeks and see how it goes! If you feel like I haven’t been
doing my part around the house, then we can go back to the way it was, no
questions asked.
There
are many teenagers nowadays who are developmentally not “there” yet, not ready
to take care of themselves. Even some young adults are slower to mature than
others. (Debbie Pincus, adult children living at home). That is not me! No, I
strive to be responsible, to be more mature and to be on my own. I want to be
on my own, to have my own apartment, to own my own car and make payments on it.
It’s the financial issues that are holding me back from moving forward. Let me get out there and live, I need to be
responsible for everything that I do. Taking away my curfew will better prepare
me for the world better than you know. It’s not like we are trying to set an
example to younger siblings. I am the younger sibling!
What is the need to impose a curfew on an almost twenty
year old adult? Are you afraid of what other parents might think of you if you
take away my curfew? Sometimes I think that the main reason that I have a
curfew is because other parents might think that you are an irresponsible
parent letting her little girl run wild everywhere throughout the night while
doing only God knows what. Anyone thinking that is utterly and completely
wrong. I have been blessed with you two as my parents!
It seems to me that having a curfew luring above my head
every single night reminds me that you two just don’t fully trust me yet, and
quite frankly that bothers me. Both of you know that I don’t smoke, drink, do
any drugs and yes, I’m still a virgin. I can honestly say that as God as my
witness. There is a small percent of teenagers that can honestly say that to
their parents and I’m glad to be one of them. I am letting you know that I’m
not a bad seed! Mom and Dad, you have raised all three of us so well and we are
grateful for everything. I want you to know that you can trust us to not have a
curfew. I want to be successful in life just as much as you do, maybe even
more.
I have had a curfew since I was old enough to have one
and have accepted and followed it this long. I may have bickered about having
one but we have never fought about it. I am respectful of you two, I try not to
talk back and barely ever have. Now it’s time to be respectful of me and my own
time. I feel like having this curfew of 1:30 is disrespectful of me and my time
with my friends. It keeps me from spending time with them. Having close friends
is a must and knowing that they will always be there for you is heartwarming.
What if something were to happen to Morgan past my curfew? I would go to here
no matter what the time or place and take the hit for being out late, because
that is what friends do for each other.
Believe it or not Mom and Dad, I’m an adult now. I am responsible
for myself, for my actions and my time. It
is time to come to conclusion that I am too old to have a curfew. I have
accepted my curfew for long enough, so now it is your turn to accept giving me
no curfew that has been hanging over my head for so long. I am completely legal
to not have one, not to mention that I am mature enough as well. A young adult,
such as myself should not be imposed to have a curfew.
Sincerely,
Lexie Teunis
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